Make Team Building Affordable

I am a team builder and I am always looking for new and creative ways to build relationships within the team. While leading a church staff of over 25, I sensed a great need for a way to get us all together in a casual atmosphere, away from the office. I noticed that we were in meetings at the church so much and comments from the team members were they were tired of so many meetings. I also noticed the administrative assistants were frustrated at not being included around the office in staff lunches and impromptu and random gatherings. What we needed was something that would build the team as a whole.


I wanted to create something that everyone could attend, was affordable for everyone, and was casual and not structured. I called it the "All Staff $5 Lunch". We chose the first Tuesday of the month and selected a local restaurant. The whole team was invited via email and all it cost them was $5. Each person paid in $5 and the church covered the rest, within reason. With most lunches costing around $10, the church basically covered the other. It was a hit! The goal was 100% attendance but that was unrealistic. We settled for whoever could make it that month and enjoyed great casual fellowship away from the office.

There were no expectations from the team, just show up when you can and enjoy each other. We chose a new place to each each month and would try and choose a new restaurant when possible. The team loved it since they knew there cost was always going to be just $5 no matter where we ate. We carpooled each month and added that fellowship aspect as well. The event quickly became a staple in our team building strategy and was looked forward to by all. I can assure you this; if I ever forgot to line up a place and send the email, I was quickly reminded a few days before.

The idea mushroomed into more; whenever a new team member joined us or when a team member left, someone called "All Staff Lunch". You just can't go wrong with this team builder.

Comments? Suggestions? Have you tired this before?

How Do You Communicate?

Learning how people communicate at the office can save you a lot of grief and understanding that effective communication is critical to any team. Many times, when things go wrong with a project at work, it can be traced back to a lack of communication. It can also cause you grief in your relationships at the office and at home. Let’s face it, any lack of communication can affect the outcome negatively. Here is a perfect example. Let’s say you are working trying to help someone in your office that was going through some personal issues and you were trying to mentor and encourage them. You emailed several times over the course of a few days but the person never responded to you. You see them in the office at maybe at a meeting but they never acknowledge your emails. Finally, after several email attempts and no response you catch the person in their office and ask why they have not responded to your offer to help them. They apologize and tell you that they do not email much and rarely check their inbox. However, they do inform you that the best way to communicate is by text message. Clearly a communication breakdown simple because of their preferred method. 

Now go back to by opening comment about learning how people communicate. In an office setting where you need to communicate with many to get things done, ask how they best communicate. What is their preferred way that will get you a timely response? Today there is text messaging, email, sticky notes, Facebook, a phone call, or in person face to face. Any of these can work. Had I asked that person ahead of time what their best way to communicate was, I would have been able to better help and get my message across. 

Understand that you may have a preferred way to communicate but that does not mean it’s the best way for everyone you work with. Learn the best method for each person in your office and enhance your communication greatly. Be flexible and as a leader be the one to establish communication methods up front. 

Comments? What is your best communication method?

5 Things You Need to Know About Marriage

I was 22 and she was 18. We met in March, I took her to her high school prom in May, and we were married on December 29, 1976. I wore Wrangler jeans, boots, and a t-shirt every day and she wore fashion clothes. She was Catholic and I was Baptist by upbringing. I lived in a one bedroom apartment and she lived in a five-bedroom house in Country Club. We could not have been more opposite yet we were attracted to each other and it was love at first site. I can assure you that if there was an online dating match service back then, we would not have been remotely close to matching.

We had a Catholic / Baptist wedding held in a Catholic church in front of a priest. The reception had live music and open bar for our friends and family. The Catholics danced the evening away while the Baptists ate. We were married on a Wednesday night right between Christmas and New Year. Who does that? I loved my apartment with all its amenities but she wanted to buy a house. She had a cat before we were married that she brought into the marriage and I was highly allergic to cat dander. I loved her long brunette hair and on our first real date, she showed up with short hair. Why did we get married you may be asking? What did we have in common? How did two opposites ever meet and fall in love?

  

Over the next couple of years, the arguments grew bigger and louder and more noticeable to others. There were blow outs that when I would come home after work, she would be gone. She moved out and left me a letter about how this was not working. We got back together each time and continued to try, but it was difficult. Marriage is work! Finally, we had a blow out and she moved out again, this time for good. Why could we not be like other couples that argued with the husband sleeping on the couch? This time she started the process for filing for divorce. Yes, the “D” word. It had popped up its ugly head a few times before but we always managed to overcome the situation. This time was different!

I moved to an apartment and struggled getting through each day. I just could not accept the marriage was done. Fortunately for us, a friend of hers suggested we get counseling. I was open to anything that could help, even seeing a priest. He was different that I had imagined. He was a young guy. I don’t remember all that he told us that evening and I am sure he used religious talk but all I heard was if we still loved each other, then the “D” word should never come up. He also taught us how to argue. If you are married and you never argue, there may be something wrong. When you get two people living together, you are going to argue. He gave us rules to argue with that we committed to try. She moved in the apartment with me and we began once again. 

Things improved over the next couple years. We built our first custom home together and did well choosing and picking out colors and lighting. We were even expecting out first child. I thought we had everything we needed. A new home, good jobs, nice cars in the driveway, a sailboat, and a pool table in the den. Our friends all commented that we had it all and were doing very well. Or were we!

 She brought a cat into the marriage, which she got rid of for me, and I brought alcoholism into our marriage. I was a heavy drinker before we married and it carried over into the marriage. Drinking was a regular part of my daily routine and more on the weekends. Now that we were faced with being parents to our first child, we had to make some changes in our lives but I did not know what that looked like. She did! Her and a friend down the street started visiting churches on Sundays and when they found one they liked they drug the husbands to the church the following Sunday. It was not fun  for me! I had no interest in this at all. The last church we visited was just OK for me. I mean I didn’t hate it! The following week a knock came on the door and guess who? It was the pastor and his wife. We invited them in and started our visit. Before we knew it, they were asking us if when we died, would we go to heaven for sure! The next thing I knew, they were praying with us and we gave our lives to Jesus that night; at the same time. Over the next several months, I poured out every bottle / case of beer I had in in the house and never drank a beer again. I was at church every time the doors were open. I could not get enough of Jesus.  And I discovered we didn’t have everything we needed after all. 

Here are 5 things about marriage that everyone needs to know. Whether you are married now or getting married soon, learn from our experience. 1) Don’t believe the myth that marriage is 50-50. It is by far 100-100 that makes it work. Each of you must give 100 % to the marriage relationship 100% of the time. 2) Know that opposites are attracted to each other and that is not a bad thing. We offset each other with our differences. All these dating sites today are matching people up by likes and dislikes, but that is not fool proof. It does not guarantee a perfect union. 3) Learn how to fight the right way. Learn the rules and make arguing healthy and productive for the marriage. 4) Remove the word divorce from your vocabulary and never bring it up. Don’t use it as a crutch or an easy way out. There is no easy way out! Stay with it. 5) Make Jesus the center of your marriage and he will see you through the good times and bad times, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. 

My wife and I just celebrated 40 years of marriage after all that we have been through. How did we do it? We made Jesus the center of all that we do together. We read his book on marriage and we followed HIS plan. How did Jesus do it? He blessed us with 3 incredible children, a loving family, and hundreds of dear friends that hold us up and support us. I am not a marriage specialist or counselor but Jesus is. If you don’t think God can work in your marriage, try reading this scripture every day. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” Ephesians 3.20-21

 Comments? Suggestions? Testimonies?

2 Things I Know for Sure; 1 Thing I Don’t Know for Sure

We all have a past. We can look back into our past, we can recall things from our past, and many times we live in the past. One thing I know for sure; we all have a past. We may not like our past but it is ours and we created it. We may love our past and it brings great joy looking back on it. We may, however, dread looking back at our past. No matter how we feel about it, it is ours and we own it. We cannot change our past either. Once we create it, there is no edit, change, or deletes. It is posted in our memory forever. That does not mean we must live in it. We know it is there, it does not have to be where we live and dwell all the time. The past is the past; it is done and we accept it. 

We all have a present. Right now, is the present and it is short lived and gone in a flash. One thing I know for sure; we all have a present. We all have twenty-four hours in a day and before each hour starts, you are in the present, but once that hour goes by, it moved to the past and we cannot change it. The present is where we should live and enjoy life. Here is where you can edit and delete. What you do in the present, soon moves to the past and then it is locked in your past forever. Today, right now, this very second, is the present and you can make it however you want. 

We all have a future. We know what are past is because it is already done and we know what the present is because we are in in right now. One thing I don’t know for sure; what the future holds. Living in the present, we do not know what the next minute, hour, day, or week will hold for us. We do not know the future. We may think we know our future and we can plan our future, but there is no guarantee it will happen that way. 

We have the capability to live our lives in one of these three times. We can live in the past and dwell on that every day and we can make our present to reflect that time. But what if our past is marred and unpleasant; then our present will reflect that. But what if our past is unmarred and pleasant for us; then our present could reflect that but then we are not living in the present any longer, we are living in the past. We can live in the future but that only brings worry and anxiousness not knowing what the future holds. Who wants to live like that? 

Or, we can live in the present where we can edit, change, and delete as we go. What we do today, becomes our past tomorrow. 

                “For I know the plans I have for,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” Jerimiah 29:11

What a revelation! Did you just read that and understand it? The Lord has our future in his plan and his hands. He alone can edit and change our future per his plan. All the worry and fret and anxiousness cannot change a day in our life. We must live in the present and leave the future to the Lord. Do not get me wrong, we can prepare for the future. Living day to day, trusting in the Lord for tomorrow is by far the most stress-free living we can do.

Where are, you living? Comments! Suggestions!

Leaving Your Footprint

I recently visited a church I served at nine years ago and was pleasantly surprised at what I saw. As we arrived to the parking lot, we noticed several golf carts picking people up to save them the walk to the church building. We parked and sure enough the man in the cart noticed us and came by. I was surprised because it was the same cart and same volunteer that I put in place nine years ago. We had a brief reunion on the ride and enjoyed reconnecting with Dan. 

During the worship service we sat with a couple that are dear friends and the husband had just returned to church after a year of recovery from a double lung transplant. The pastor acknowledged Barry's miracle to the congregation and when he saw us sitting next to him, made us stand too as he acknowledged us as former staff of the church. All during the service people came and hugged and loved on us. During the welcome time, a couple came by and were wearing greeter name badges. Linda and Chris said that if we would have come in the front worship center doors they would have greeted us because that is where I left them nine years ago. 

No this is not about me! It is about how God uses us to leave footprints when we serve him. As I thought back on my ministry there, I remember it like it was yesterday. Leaving your footprint comes from intentional ministry and a vision. Back when I was setting up the “Pit Crew” to drive golf carts, I recruited volunteers to be a part of a vision and purpose. I didn’t just recruit people to fill a time slot to volunteer. I shared a vision of first impressions and the need for some people that needed help when having to park so far from the church. They took that vision and made it their own and thus you have it being carried out, nine years later.

Back when my wife and I revamped the greeter ministry there, it was all about the vision of first impressions and how people needed a warm smile and handshake when coming to church. I didn’t just ask volunteers to fill a time slot. I shared a vision and a ministry to all ages and they took that vision and make it their own thus you have it being carried out years later. 

The secret to volunteerism is having a vision and then sharing your vision and letting others join you and taking some ownership.  Once you do that they will join in and take it further than you could have alone. Now you have multiple people involved in the vision sharing their ideas, dreaming with you, and it begins to grow exponentially. 

Don’t just recruit people to fill time slots or duties that need to be done or they will drop like flies in a short time and you will be recruiting constantly. Start with a vision of ministry and get people to join you and they will serve for years to come, even when you are gone.

Comments? Suggestions?