Back in the Saddle (part 2)

Two years ago, I received a phone call. The caller said he and several others in their search was given my name from colleagues that I was looking for a staff position. We talked for over an hour and that weekend, Becky and I were at First Baptist Burleson to check out the church. Our visit was filled with divine intervention and we both left that day in awe. In awe that God would lead us to such an incredible church. After a dry 12 months, doubting, questioning, seeking, and trying to figure out what God was doing with me, we fell in love with First Burleson. 

Upon arrival to the church as visitors we were greeted at the door and escorting all around the church as visitors. Within minutes of being seated in worship, we ran into friends from our home church back in the 80’s. The pastor greeted us, the Executive Pastor greeted us, and members greeted us. We were asked if we were in a Life group yet, smiled at, greeted over and over, making us feel like this was home. Several weeks later, I was on staff with an office. My first day was exactly one year from the day I left my previous church. That was intentional on my part to be able to just pick right up where I left off serving God. There is a book worth of things that happened during the previous 12 months giving testimony in hindsight of how God works on our behalf without us even knowing it.

My ministry life emulates the story of Joseph in the book of Genesis. His story, like mine, depicts the sovereignty of God. His perfect providence is just one illustration that God IS in control. To say that I never doubted God or never felt his presence during this life adventure would be a lie. I doubted and felt alone many times. To say that I didn’t trust and seek him would also be a lie. Like Joseph during his tragic life events one after another, I trusted and believed that God would restore me to His service. That day came with a phone call from God one late afternoon in August. God prompted the call, ordained the call, and made sure the timing was exactly perfect for me.

Like Joseph, even when others hurt us and life seems unfair and difficult, we can triumphantly declare with Joseph, “As far you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good.” Gen 50:20

Today I celebrate, to the day, two years of service at First Burleson. Every day has been full of joy, peace, fun, thanksgiving, mercy, love, care, and that feeling of I can’t wait to get to work. It would be another book to write of things that have happened over the past two years that would prove the existence of God almighty working in my life. We are exactly where God wants us at this moment in time and hopefully for many years to come.

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Hospital on a Hill

I got up, showered, and got ready for my day as usual knowing it was going to be another long day of nothing. I was sitting on the couch staring out the large windows in the living room, trying to figure out again what I was to do to keep myself busy. It was depressing. I had been out of work for six months, living with some friends trying to figure things out. I had to convince myself daily that I would be fine, and something would come up, but it never did. Every day got a little longer and a little harder to get through. 

Its 10 am and I am still just sitting on the couch staring out the windows in the living room. No one was home that day. I knew I needed help but where and who. I decided to call the hospital on the hill and make an appointment with the doctor. Amazingly they had an opening that morning, so I went. The receptionist was super friendly and had me in the doctor’s office almost right away like he was waiting on me. Dr. Ross sat me down in his office and asked what was going on. I shared a little about why I thought I was depressed. He sat right in front of me and I could tell he was listening intently. His countenance was telling me that he really cared about my story. I teared up telling some parts of the story but felt it was alright with Dr. Ross. Finally, I let him respond and man did he.  Dr. Ross seemed to know exactly what I was going through and offered the exact words I needed to hear. He offered ways to combat depression, and his final solution totally blew me away and again brought me to tears. Who is this doctor and how does he know me to diagnose so well? 

Dr. Ross offered me counseling and therapy with his team of doctors. I was to meet with them every week once a day in the mornings. But he said that I was welcome to come to the hospital any time of the day and that someone would be here to work with me in my illness. There was no monetary charge to me. He said the fees were already paid by a man long ago for me to come here and get help. What kind of hospital does all this? It was crazy. I went back home a totally different man, smiling, joyful, and in amazement. I could not wait for my wife to get home and tell her what happened. 

I started therapy the next week. I showed up early and was seated in the lobby. Dr. Ross came by and grabbed me and said let’s go, the team is ready for you. We walked in together and there were about 6 other doctors seated around the tables. As Dr. Ross introduced me to the team, it was like they already knew me, and I had been there for months. I felt incredibly welcomed and comfortable in the room. The morning went awesome for me and again I left new and different and at peace. What was this place and why do I feel so much peace when I am there?

I was assigned to one specific doctor for mentoring and was included in work he was doing. I felt valued and needed again. Dr. Stone was a great man and seemed to be excited I was helping him. Again, it was like he knew me for a long time already. We worked, had lunch together and even golfed one day as part of my therapy. While working with Dr. Stone he introduced me to Dr. French who I was to work with also. We met and he had a few projects at the hospital that he asked my help with. This is getting to be a dream for me. Unbelievable treatment with people that care beyond measure. Who does that now days?

The next couple of months were amazing. I was still without work and had some down days but not nearly like before Dr. Ross and I met. I could not wait to get up each day and at least stop by the hospital and see what was going on. I even met and worked with other patients at times. The hospital had programs for the sick mostly on Sundays and Wednesdays. My wife and I got involved with started attending regularly. We quickly were invited to a therapy class for couples that was so awesome. The director of the program grabbed us one day and invited us to the therapy class, so we tried it. We loved it. We learned from these other couples so much. They had joy, love, and had fun, and cared for us so much. Again, it was like they knew us for a long time. 

To my surprise and shock, Dr. Ross had asked me to come on staff at the hospital to work with other patients dealing with depression or problems. It was a part time position, but I would work and serve with his therapists every day. I was brought to tears, again, when Dr. Ross asked me to join his team. We had to be approved by the other doctors but were voted in unanimously one Sunday evening. We were in!

The next six month were so exciting and amazing that we could not wait to get to the hospital for the programs they offered. All the other doctors there became lifelong friends to this day. Dr. Hickingbottom, the CEO, encouraged me so much by just always being there for me and speaking to me when I came to the hospital. So much happened in six months while there. Our couples therapy class met every week and we usually went to lunch together after. We went to plays, served other patients in their need, and dinner at times. I was invited to play guitar with a group that did a therapy night singing gospel song of encouragement and love. That was one of the best times while at the hospital. What a night to minister to the other patients. We all left pumped and excited. 

What started out to be another long day of nothing, staring out the large windows in the living room, ended with my appointment with Dr. Ross. When my wife came home that evening, I blurted out my excitement as she walked in the door. She could tell I was a changed man. After I told her about Dr. Ross and the hospital, she told me this. That morning as she left for work, she saw me sitting there. She could tell I was depressed, and she prayed to God to do something for me that day to help me. She prayed for a miracle. She prayed for someone to help me. She prayed for Dr. Ross and never knew it. She prayed for a hospital on a hill and didn’t know it. I’m fine now and working full time again. After searching for 12 months, I am a doctor at a large hospital. With the love and care of Dr. Ross and his staff of therapists, I made it! The depression left and I am now helping other patients. Praise God for that hospital on the hill.

Lesson learned...never doubt that God is working all around you and that He will always lead you to his will if you listen and follow and believe.

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Mama Said There Would Be days Like This

Have you ever had a day when nothing seemed to go right or your way? Bills are piling up; the car needs repairs and you feel like nothing good is going your way. It goes right along to the words of the song, “Mama told me there would days like this”! There was a time in my life that I didn’t think I would make it through another day without streaming from so much stress and anxiety. I felt I just could not get ahead in life. When our three kids were small, I was self employed trying to get a new business start off the ground. I worked almost 7 days a week with long hot days. We lived in a small rent house where the air conditioning barley cooled the house, no fenced yard and a dog, and purple carpet to boot. I drove a small Chevy truck with standard transmission and drove all over Dallas and Forth Worth all day in traffic. One day I counted how many times I shifted; it was almost five hundred. I must admit there were days that I could just not find anything to be thankful for and ended up miserable and the constant complainer about life. Do any of your days feel like this?

Our human tendency is to compare ourselves with those around us just to prove how bad we have it. Why do others have it so much better than me? We think there is this high standard of living that we should all have and enjoy. Yet, many times we fall short. I remember my youngest son asking me one day, “Dad, are we poor”? After some thought, I responded to his inquisitive question, it all depends on who you are comparing us to. If you compare us to the president of the United States, then yes, we may look poor. If you compare us to a homeless person then we look rich.

The key is giving thanks to whom it belongs and for all the blessings you already have. In Psalm 9.1 the writer states, “I will give thanks to you, o Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds”. It is not hard to find thankfulness in the Bible. Try reading any book of Psalms and you will hear the words give thanks. It is not about you anyway, it is all about the Lord working in your life all around you. The challenge is we get so tied up in ourselves and why things are not going right, that we forget our heavenly father is there waiting to hear the words, thank you.

Trust me, the best way I have found to combat those days when I feel like nothing is going my way and everything is pilling up on my shoulders, is to stop, look around, and see his blessings. Count your blessings and what you do have and what is going your way, instead of the opposite. Sometimes I find a quiet chair in the house and just sit and look around. I begin seeing things to be thankful for and begin seeing things that are good. Thank you, Lord, for this house, the furniture we have, air conditioning, running water, electricity, the car in the garage, the roof over my head, the clothes in my closet, the money in my wallet, the beautiful day outside, my church, my friends, my job, health, my wife,  my family, the dog, and on and on. I see it all so clearly now that I am thankful. I begin asking why do I deserve all this? Why am I so blessed? 

My best days at home, at work and at church on Sundays is when I find myself saying “thank you” to people. Saying and hearing those words every chance I get all day, keeps away my stress and anxiety. You see, worship begins with thank you! Thank you, Lord.

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