Moms Like Glue

In April of 2000, my mom was in the hospital with severe back pains. After some tests had been run, the doctor diagnosed her having gall stones. She was 72 then and the doctor was not exactly sure about surgery at her age and wanted to keep her overnight for observation. My sister and I visited mom that evening and knowing she would be there overnight we thought we just come back in the morning to hear the plan from the doctors. At 6am the next morning I got a call from my sister. Mom passed away!

I was stunned and overwhelmed and questioning what happened overnight. Once we got to the hospital, the doctor explained that the combination of gall stones and her health were not good and she died from a heart attack. Mom had a previous heart attack more than 10 years earlier and had recovered well from it. But the pain and stress from the gall stones and her overall health got the best of mom. Later that morning at the hospital, I went to see mom one last time. It had not really hit me yet that she was gone until I saw here lying there. I cried profusely knowing she was gone now and what was I going to do without her here. My mom was the glue that held our family together, now what?

In October of 1999 I was hired on staff at Glenview Baptist church, coming to them broken and distraught. My first church experience ended traumatically and this new pastor and staff loved, encouraged, and supported me immensely. God knew exactly where to send me. At moms funeral I was standing outside the church when a white van pulled up and 7 men in black suits and dark sunglasses exited the van one by one. I thought the mafia had arrived! An amazing sight to witness is your church staff coming to support you in the loss of a parent. I was in tears as they comforted me in my loss. During the funeral I noticed two of my best friends from high school in attendance. Vanessa and Debbie have been close and dear friends to me for 40 years and drove a great distance to be there. Another witness of Gods hand comforting me.

My mom and dad lived in a retirement village and for the most part mom was the caretaker for them both. We did not realize though, that she was hiding dads Dementia. He was going down quick but mom didn’t let on to the family. We noticed some things wrong but not until she was gone did we realize his full blown disease. Dad was lost without mom and could not function. He did not know where he was or what time of day it was. We had to move dad to a home that cared for this disease. Within 3 month of mom’s death, dad passed away in his sleep one night.

I am the youngest of four children in our family. We grew up with mom and dad owning an auto parts business sin Corpus Christi, Texas. We all worked there at some point in time which made it a true family business. Mom was the bookkeeper and dad ran the store. Growing up as a kid, my mom was always there for me. My dad owned the store even as I was just a kid. Mom worked half days and then was a stay at home mom the rest of the day. So, I got to spend a lot of time with mom. We did a lot together growing up. One day in the summer we went bowling and after we got home I looked down and still had my rented bowling shoes on. We laughed and she had to drive me back to the bowling lane to get my shoes. I think every year mom planned a birthday party for me and made sure all my friends were there. She drove me to all my sports games, took me shopping for clothes, and was the organizer for all our family vacations.

Mom was responsible for all our Sunday dinners as a family. Almost every Sunday she would fix a big meal with all the trimmings for the family. Mom absolutely thrived on family. She loved it when we all came over and for holidays we would always gather at mom and dad’s house for the fun. It ran in the family because my mom’s mom, who lived in San Antonio, thrived on family as well and when we came to visit she spent the first 15 minutes on the phone calling all the rest of the family in San Antonio, that we were there. Granny was something else! Mom applied hundreds of Band-Aids to my body, sewed a hundred new patches into my jeans, sewed dozens of holes in my socks, cooked me thousands of meals, and kissed a hundred boo-boo’s to make them better. Mom was the glue that held me together.

All the way until mom passed away she lived for family and she is what held us together. It was expected to be at mom and dads for holidays and she would plan it all out. Dad just smiled and went along. Dad absolutely loved family too, but mom was the driving force keeping us together. She started a genealogy book of her family. Mom was one of four sisters and she hand-typed this book page by page including scanning in pictures when she could get them. She went as far back as information would let her and then built it forward on each member of her family. It included marriages, divorces, kids, grandkids, cousins, nephews, uncles, and aunts. It was very detailed with birth place and date, jobs, and a brief description of their life. What a huge blessing to have that book to read the family history. We not only lost a mom, we lost the recording of history too. Mom was the glue that held us together.

It has been 15 years since mom and dad passed away so abruptly. Every Mother’s day and Father’s day I get flooded with memories of my mom and dad. My mom was so special to me. I could write a book about growing up with my mom. We did so much together and she was always there for me. I could always count on her matter what. I am sad to say that during the last 15 years her four siblings have not stayed in touch as much as we should. We get busy and have our own families now. Holidays are just on our own and we don’t meet together like we did at mom and dads. How does that happen? Why have we grown apart so much? 

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, I challenge you to stop what you are doing and spend time with your mom. Don’t make excuses, just go see here and tell her you love her. If your mom is no longer living, honor her on Mom’s Day by getting the family together, or at least calling your family and sharing memories about mom together. God gave us the ability to have memories which can be wonderful. God gave you just the right mom I am sure. In the opening chapter of the book of Proverbs in the Bible, the writer exhorts the reader on how to embrace wisdom. In verse 8 it tells us to listen to our father’s instruction and to not forsake our mothers teaching. If you will do that, then verse 9 tells us that by doing so with cause your mom and dad to be like a garland of grace on your head and like a chain to adorn your neck. In other words a garland of grace and a chain of adornment will be added to you. Whatever you do, make this Mother’s Day a special day for mom. For me, mom is like glue…still holding our family together through the memories we all have of her. Happy Mother’s Day!