No Resolutions for me Please

After January 1^st, I am going to start ______________. It is that time of year again when we start thinking of and creating those proverbial New Year resolutions. To be honest I stopped making those many years ago. A 2007 study involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail, despite the fact that 52% of the study's participants were confident of success at the beginning. Men achieved their goal 22% more often when they engaged in goal setting (a system where small measurable goals are being set; such as, a pound a week, instead of saying "lose weight"), while women succeeded 10% more when they made their goals public and got support from their friends.

A New Year resolution is where a person makes a promise to do an act of self-improvement or make a change in how they act; like being a nicer person or helping others more. Usually we hear these two the most each year: losing weight by dieting and exercise. Funny how these two resolutions pop up a lot during the year but never get started. How many times have you heard someone say they will start their diet right after Thanksgiving, right after Christmas, or after the first of the year? But first, let me eat all I can before I start! To prove my point, in the middle of writing this article, my wife I went to a local burger joint for lunch. We saw a friend there and wished her a happy New Year. Her response was she was going to blow it all now at the burger joint but after the 1^st she starts her diet.

I made a huge mistake one Christmas because of a resolution my wife made. She made the comment one day that after the first of the year, she wanted to get fit and exercise more. It sounded like a great New Year resolution the only problem we had no money for a gym membership and had no home equipment. So, I got our three kids to rally around me and they helped me purchase home exercise equipment for my wife for Christmas. I was really proud of all that I bought and was sure she would be excited. On Christmas morning as she unwrapped it all, I discovered that was NOT a good gift for a woman. Go figure! She was upset that it indicated she was overweight and needed to lose weight. Needless to say the gifts did not go over so good and she has not let me live it down. It was HER resolution!

I don’t mean to give you a history lesson of New Year’s Eve and resolutions since anyone can simply Google it. But, the following exerts from Wikipedia on the subject is interesting to me.

The ancient Babylonians made promises to their gods at the start of each year that they would return borrowed objects and pay their debts. The Romans began each year by making promises to the god Janus, for whom the month of January is named. In the Medieval era, the knights took the "peacock vow" at the end of the Christmas season each year to re-affirm their commitment to chivalry. At watch night services, many Christians prepare for the year ahead by praying and making these resolutions.

Personally I would love to see the “watch night services” brought back and used more today. It seems we have lost that tradition. I believe that year-end is a great time to reflect back but more importantly a time to look forward to the New Year and what you will do differently. 

There are other religious parallels to this tradition. During Judaism's New Year, Rosh Hashanah, through the High Holidays and culminating in Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement), one is to reflect upon one's wrongdoings over the year and both seek and offer forgiveness. People may act similarly during the Catholic fasting period of Lent, though the motive behind this holiday is more of sacrifice than of responsibility, in fact the practice of New Year's
Resolutions partially came from the Lenten sacrifices. The concept, regardless of creed, is to reflect upon self-improvement annually.

I am a goals person and although New Year resolutions are fun to think up and state; the research showed us that 88% fail in keeping them. So why make them? Setting goals is easy and the success rate will be much higher. First you start with a simple statement similar to a resolution. Let’s use the popular exercise topic; my New Year resolution is to lose weight. If you stopped there you would more than likely fall in that 88% mentioned above. However, by adding a description and time frame to that statement it becomes a goal. I would like to lose 20 pounds in 2015. Now you have something measurable and a time limit. After setting a goal you can add your strategy that will further enhance your chances of it actually happening. I will lose 1 pound a week for 20 weeks by changing my diet and adding exercise.

If you are going to stick with resolution and don’t really get the whole goal idea, then here is what I would recommend. As I get older, I find myself waking up and thanking God for another new day. God is timeless but our finite mind can only understand time in small units. We operate on seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, and decades. No resolutions for me please on New Year’s Eve, I challenge us all to make resolve daily. Today I am going to help others more. Today I am going to make another person smile. Today I am going to praise God for my blessings. Today I am going to read God’s word. 

I found this on the internet and love what it says. This resolve has action in it and is worked every day, not just once a year. Take the challenge to make resolutions every day!

A RESOLVE for every morning of the New Year…
I will this day try to live a simple, sincere, and serene life repelling promptly every thought of discontent, anxiety, discouragement, impurity, self-seeking, cultivating cheerfulness, magnanimity, charity, and the habit of holy silence, exercising economy in expenditure, carefulness in conversation, diligence in appointed service, fidelity to every trust and a child-like faith in God.
From a calendar by Bishop John H. Vincent

The 12 Days of Christmas

One of the most amazing gifts was presented to our family one Christmas. A gift that my family will never forget! It was such an out of the ordinary gift and a gift that lasted and then ended with such excitement. We had two small children at the time and they were excited like never before. Let me explain!

It was a few weeks before Christmas and we were living in a rent house at the time. I was self-employed then and money was a little tight, but we managed. Christmas wasn’t going to be big this year. I woke up early and got ready for work like I always do and headed out the door. Our garage was full so we parked out front on the driveway. When I opened the front door to leave, there it was. I noticed a small package with a note lying on the front door step.  The note read, “On the 1^st day of Christmas”. That’s all it said, no name or explanation. 

That evening I shared it with the kids and none of us could figure out what it meant. The very next day I did the same routine and there was another small gift outside the front door this time with a note that said, “On the 2^nd day of Christmas”. That’s all it said, no name or explanation. 

Again, that night I shared it with the family and we could not figure this out. On day three we found another small gift with the same note. We finally discovered that each note was counting down the 12 days of Christmas and each day the gift was the number for that day. On the first day, we noticed the gift was one item, on the second day it was two items, and on the third day it was three items wrapped together.  Now we are getting somewhere! But who was doing this crazy fun thing? Each day this continued as the fun and anticipation grew. Now each morning I was no longer the first one out the door. The kids or my wife would beat me to the front door and open it to the gift laying on the front step. There were 3 candles, 4 bows, 5 candy canes, 6 rolls of wrapping paper, and so on. 

But the kid in me came out and I just had to know who was doing this and when were they doing it. I was getting up different hours of the night and morning trying to pin down the time the gift is arriving to maybe catch the person but no luck. So, I came up with a plan. Our driveway was long and the garage doors faced the long driveway looking down to the street. There were two long narrow windows in each garage door at eye level. My plan was to stay up all night until the gifts arrived and I could see who was doing this for us. That cold night, I went into the garage and sat on the kids rocking horse with a blanket over me and looking right out the windows down the drive way. After hours of nothing moving around out there I went inside to get some sleep. Christmas Eve day would be the 11^th day so my chance of catching someone was now or maybe never. I went back in to the garage at around 4am and found my spot on the rocking horse again. There I was like a little kid when all of a sudden something peered in the driveway close to the street. A tall person with dark clothes and a beanie hat that covered his head and face was slowly walking up the drive. If it wasn’t the giver it would be a burglar the way they were dressed. 

With the front porch light on the outside, the glare of the garage windows made me unnoticeable. I perked up and while staring at the person, they walked right up to the front door and laid the gift on the step. The person was only a few feet away and then it happened. They looked right at me!  I knew they could not see in. It was Mark!

Once he left, I went back inside and slipped back into my warm bed. My wife asked if saw anyone. I told her who it was and we laughed at amazement. We did not tell the kids what I had done. Christmas day would be the 12^th day, but on that morning something strange happened. There was no gift that morning. We looked all around the front door. Nothing! Did I scare them off I thought. Did I ruin the fun! Mid-morning the doorbell rang and there stood Mark and Leann. We invited them in the house and they began to tell about the gifts. They also read us a poem about the 12 days of Christmas and meaning of giving to others. 

Mark shared how we should give because God first gave. Jesus is the greatest gift of all to mankind. He then explained that he would leave the gift on his way to work every morning around 4am. They did not leave the last gift so that they could bring it by in person and share the poem and reveal themselves. It was a great family time hearing about Mark and all the fun he had leaving the gifts, hearing dogs bark, the early paper route guy driving by, and just the darkness of walking around in the early hours. I then told Mark and Leann my funny story of waiting up all night sitting in the garage on a rocking horse waiting to catch him. We all laughed and enjoyed our stories. Mark told us that they too were the recipients of the 12 days of Christmas and just wanted to share it and keep the fun going so they chose us. What a huge blessing! 

Over the next 10 years we carried on the fun by doing the 12 days of Christmas to other couples and families. I would get up at early hours of the morning and deliver the gifts. Many times my kids would ask to go with me. We also ran into many funny situations while delivering the gifts. On several occasions the people would not be home on Christmas day and for many days after so we never got them the last gift and poem. They never knew who it was. One year after a few days of leaving the gifts, the people we were blessing would leave me a gift on the front porch saying thank you. I told this story to our church friends and they wanted in on the fun and started doing this too. In fact, once there were several doing it at the same time and one person was going to be out of town for a couple nights in the middle of it and asked me to fill in. So, for a few mornings I was delivering more than one gift. It was all fun and exciting!

In the popular Bible verse John 3.16, it tells us that God first gave by giving us His son that we may have eternal life. That is what Christmas is all about: celebrating the birth of the greatest gift to mankind of all. What better way to celebrate giving than by giving to others. What about you this year? Are you giving? How will you give the gift of love and blessing?

Merry Christmas

Rick Cadden
Associate Pastor of Administration and Operations
Columbus Avenue Baptist Church

The Ultimate Gift of Thanks

I had been out of work for a while and with three small kids at home it was getting difficult to just put food on the table much less paying all the bills. The week of Thanksgiving was quickly approaching. Becky and I and our family were not looking forward to dealing with a house full of relatives for the holidays as we normally do. Becky was the only one working at the time so it got us by, but we were behind on everything, especially grocery shopping. Becky worked part time at a Christian school for a large church in town. She had been there for over 10 years and was liked by all. Her peers were all ladies that had taught school and worked together for many years and had a close bond together. They were very encouraging to Becky and I through this jobless ordeal we were experiencing.

Towards the end of the day, Becky came walking in from parking the car and came in through the kitchen door from the garage. She was sobbing with tears running down her face, extremely emotional. I was shocked and nervous as she tried to utter out words of what had happened. All she could manage to get out was “go look at the car”. I instantly thought car wreck and asked if she was alright. She could only cry profusely and utter the words again “go look at the car”. 

I headed for the garage as she followed me still crying. I looked all around the outside for damage and the car was not damaged. I remember her pointing and then saying to look in the back of the car. I peaked in the rear windows and could not figure out what was there. Back then our car was a large four door station wagon with the third seat that faced backwards. I rolled down the back window and peered in. There, with all the seats folded down to the front seat, were bags and bags and bags of groceries. Each bag was overflowing with food and condiments. I looked at Becky and asked “Where did all this come from?”, and she started crying again and all she could get out was “work”. 

We started unloading all the bags, carrying them to the kitchen. By the time we got them all in, the kitchen counters were covered with bags all around the room. There were turkeys, hams, and all the fixings for a Thanksgiving meal to die for. There was so much food we could not fit it all in the food pantry cabinets. We had never had that much food, even when we were both working fulltime. This was an incredible miracle, and just in time for Thanksgiving. 

Becky finally stopped crying long enough to explain how this could happen. Being in work environment where there was a close bond, she had mentioned to the other staff that I was out of work and how things were tight at home. My wife is not a beggar and I am sure she was just venting and looking for some encouragement. Without her knowing it, the director of the school sent notice to all the teachers a few days earlier asking them to bring a bag of groceries to the school without Becky seeing or knowing it.

At some point in the day they filled her car up with all the food and when it was time to leave, the car was full. When Becky got out to her car, there she saw all the bags filling the whole station wagon. She then drove home, crying all the way in thanksgiving for this generous offer of love, still crying when she got home and walked in the kitchen and greeting me like that. You now know how we got to that point in the story.

That day we learned a new lesson about thanksgiving and what giving was all about. A blessing beyond belief had been poured out on our family by a simple gesture of a bag of groceries by so many givers. I am sure that when asked, the ladies thought a bag of food was no big deal. Multiply that by dozens of people and you have a huge blessing. To top it all off, it was during the time of year we celebrate Thanksgiving.  That simple gesture of giving carried us through one of the most difficult times our family has ever experienced, being jobless. Never discount the fact that a small gift can be taken by God and be multiplied to meet a big need.

We will never forget the day that Becky came home crying profusely, and I thinking she had a wrecked the car only to find it was full of food. Now every year at our house for Thanksgiving, we load up with people. We invite all the family, their spouses, their kids, their friends, our parents, sisters, whoever can come we invite to join us each year. The house is overfull and there is not enough room for everyone. Some cook, some bring food, some clean, some just sit around, but we are all together. For us Thanksgiving is about giving back. The house is full, chaotic, noisy, people everywhere, but somehow we manage to sit them all down for a Thanksgiving meal together. I believe that day back when our car got filled with food, it changed our lives forever. 

Another day we will never forget is when Becky came home again with the car filled with food, crying profusely again just a few weeks later. Yes, they did it twice!

Reviews R Us.com

In conversation the other day with my wife and two sisters at dinner, we came up with the perfect business that could help people in their travel planning. Becky and I could do this together and I am sure it would be a huge success. Maybe this is the wild idea we have been looking for to get out there and start our own business and help people. It would be a web site anyone could go to for reviews. You know reviews! We all love them and use them on many sites we visit. You look up a restaurant on-line and read the reviews first. You look up a hotel and you read the reviews first. The problem is; are the reviews real or just put there by the owner anonymously. There is no guideline for the reviews, just random thoughts by someone. Many don’t make sense or they rant about the plastic forks sticking UP instead of DOWN at the buffet bar. Who cares? 

Here are the categories we will write our reviews on after personally visiting each site and using a fair and systematic review guide.

Beaches- we will personally visit all the hot spots all summer long and let you know all the details. Even what sun tan lotions work the best there, where the best food is close by, and is the surfing good. Everything you need to know, we will rate for you.

Fine Dining – one of our specialties will be the upper class restaurants that don’t get many fair reviews. We will include the expensive entrees that never get reviewed correctly.

B & B’s – we will vow to stay at the best ones and even some out of the way ones on beaches that no one ever thinks to review.

Cruises – those never get the right reviews but ours will be honest, open, and systematically guided. Included in our reviews will be those high end suites and rooms with balconies. That’s a big plus for our readers.

All Inclusive International Packages - I know those will be difficult to review but we vow to go on those and give you the best rating system ever.

Snow Skiing– we will check out all the super popular resorts but also give you a variety of reviews from spots not so well known. 

In addition to these hot review spots, we will also develop a usable rating system for airlines, RV rentals, trains, and high end sports cars as we travel abroad. All you have to do is sit at home and read great reviews and be more informed as you plan that annual vacation, family reunion, or weekend get a way. We will do all the work for you no problem! Our web site will also include hundreds of HD photos of every place we visit with our GOPRO HD camera system. You will be wowed by the pictures and the reviews as you see the world unfold in the living room of your home.

Even better we will make the monthly web fee to access our site a low $19.95 a month. No pesky or hidden fees, just a low monthly access charge. You can simply sit at home and see all the places we have been to and it be super affordable. I am sure you can’t wait for us to start traveling and post our reviews for you!

Catch us if you can!

Three Ways to Drive Your Vehicle

There are at least two ways to do almost everything. But driving your car or truck; there are three ways. I figured this out the other day while driving to work and almost run over by a crazy driver. I started watching all the other nuts allowed to own a drivers license in Texas and decided there are three basic type of drivers...floaters, shooters, and cloggers. On that day driving to work i actually spotted all three types on the way to work. That is rare!

Floaters - this driver never uses a turn signal and just floats from one lane to the other right in front or back of you. You can be driving along with about a cars length between you and the vehicle in front or of you, and the floater just moseys on over right in front of you causing you to slow down and get some space between you. Once they pass you up just watch them as they float back and forth looking to be the first vehicle and ahead of everyone else.

Shooters - this driver is a little crazy and will usually be caught on a three lane road driving in the far left lane and shooting over to the right lane to make a quick exit. They may even use a turn signal but it doesn't matter since they give no warning and shoot over two lanes. They don't just mosey over to your lane like the floater, they pull right along side of you and shoot over in front of you out of nowhere.

Cloggers - (not really a word) this type driver is the one driving in a 55 speed limit...and going 35 in the middle lane. Or this driver is in the fast lane driving 20 mph under the posted speed limit. Most the times they are eating in the car, talking on the phone, putting on makeup, or whatever else they can do at the same time that causes them to drive slow and not have a clue what they are doing. A clogger will also drive down a two lane road right next to the person in front of you in the other lane making it impossible to pass them.

So which type are you? O right you're the perfect driver using your turn signal, driving at or under the speed limit, coming to a complete stop at the stop sign, and looking both ways before entering and intersection. Think again! I don't actually see many perfect drivers but i certainly watch out for floaters, shooters, and cloggers.


Comments? Discussion?